Posts Tagged ‘cars’

Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…

“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 3:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

…A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.

Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut !

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“Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.”
“If you can’t make it good, at least make it look good.”
“Don’t compare yourself with anyone in this world…if you do so, you are insulting yourself.”
“Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.”
“I studied every thing but never topped. But today the toppers of the best universities are my employees”
“I failed in some subjects in exam, but my friend passed in all. Now he is an engineer in Microsoft and I am the owner of Microsoft.”
“The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.”
“If you give people tools, and they use their natural abilities and their curiosity, they will develop things in ways that will surprise you very much beyond what you might have expected.”
“As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.”
“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” “Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” “Computers are great because when you’re working with them you get immediate results that let you know if your program works. It’s feedback you don’t get from many other things.”
“Our success has really been based on partnerships from the very beginning.”
“DNA is like a computer program but far, far more advanced than any software ever created.”
“So it’s an absolute lie that has killed thousands of kids. Because the mothers who heard that lie, many of them didn’t have their kids take either pertussis or measles vaccine, and their children are dead today. And so the people who go and engage in those anti-vaccine efforts — you know, they, they kill children. It’s a very sad thing, because these vaccines are important.”
“Success is a lousy teacher.It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose”
“The vision is really about empowering workers giving them all the information about what’s going on so they can do a lot more than they’ve done in the past.”
“Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.”

 

Figure out where you need to focus your energy, and then use the 80/20 rule

Devote 80% of your energy to the most important 20% of your activities. Remember that you can’t be everywhere, know everyone, and do everything. And avoid multitasking: it can cost you 40% efficiency.

 

Thinking is a discipline. If you want to be better at it, you’ve got to work at it

Consider developing a thinking schedule like Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy, who sets aside a half day every two weeks, a whole day every month, and two or three full days every year.

 

Smart thinkers expose themselves to different ideas and types of people

They’re also selective about spending most of their time with people who challenge them.

 

It’s one thing to have an idea, another to follow through

“Ideas have a short shelf life. You must act on them before the expiration date.”

 

Thoughts need time to develop. Don’t just settle on the first thing that comes to mind

Remember the last time you had a brilliant idea at 2 a.m., but it sounded sort of ridiculous when you woke up the next morning? Thoughts need to be “shaped until they have substance” and need to stand the test of “clarity and questioning.”

 

Smart people collaborate with other smart people

Thinking with others yields higher returns. It’s like giving yourself a shortcut. That’s why brainstorming sessions are so effective.

 

Reject popular thinking (which often means not thinking at all)

Too many people act, hoping that others have thought things through first.To reject popular thinking you must be OK with feeling uncomfortable. Also remember that right now, there are a bunch of other people out there deciding to think for themselves — and they’re the ones who are successful.

 

The best thinkers plan ahead, while leaving room for some spontaneity

When you’re strategic, you reduce your margin of error. Simply having vague ideas of where you are and what you want to accomplish will get you no where.The keys to being strategic: 1. break the issue down, 2. ask why the problem needs to be solved, 3. identify the key issues, 4. review your resources, 5. put the right people in place.Henry Ford once said, “Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into smaller parts.”

 

To think differently, do different things

Try new routes to work, meet new people, read books you might even consider boring. The key is exposure to new ideas and ways of life.

 

To appreciate others’ ideas, you need to value other ideas

You can’t think you’re always right. Give other concepts a chance.

 

Have an agenda — for the day, and when you meet with people

Too many people only plan for the day. Smart thinkers take time to plan out their weeks, months, and long-term goals — and then they follow through.They also don’t walk into meetings, parties and coffee dates blind. They decide what they want to learn from people before walking through the door.

 

Reflective thinking gives you perspective and confidence in your decision-making skills

If you’re not reflecting, it’s holding you back more than you think.As Socrates said, “An unexamined life is not worth living.”

 

Get over negative self talk. Winners think in terms of “I will” and “I can”

Smart people don’t see limitations. They see possibilities.Former baseball star Sam Ewing once said that “nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said could not be done.”

 

Creative people are dedicated to ideas

They embrace ambiguity, don’t fear failure, and hang out with other creative people.

 

Naturally optimistic people find it hard to be realistic thinkers

A realistic perspective allows you to get close enough to a problem in order to tackle it. Facing potential consequences also helps you be more efficient, and it gives you credibility.To become a more realistic thinker, you must: 1. appreciate the truth, 2. do your homework and get the facts, 3. think through the pros and cons, 4. consider the worst-case scenario, and 5. align your thinking with your resources.

 

At the end of the day, it’s important to remember we can all change the way we think

“Learning how to master the process of thinking well leads you to productive thinking. If you can develop the discipline of good thinking and turn it into a lifetime habit, then you will be successful and productive all of your life.”

 

Source Taken From The Book : How Successful People Think: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life